COUPLES'S CONFERENCE IN SPAIN

This last week has been an eventful one in which we have seen our efforts of several months work come to fruition.  On Wednesday and Thursday we hosted a conference for the Welfare/Humanitarian senior missionaries of the Europe Area.  We had 14 couples join us in Spain for training and attending the Madrid temple.  We were also privileged to have Elder Gary B. Sabin (second counselor in the Area Presidency) and his wife instruct us and attend the temple with us.  The idea for this conference originated with Eileen last fall.  I didn't think it would ever get approved, and was proven to be wrong for a second time during the month of November (last year) about something that I said would never come to pass.  As I look back on the conference several things stand out to me.  I will relate just a few.

Last fall during the first Area Welfare meeting we attended, Elder Sabin asked us “what keeps you up at night.”  We both replied with the same answer.  It was our mutual concern over the isolation that most of our couples have to deal with in their assignments.  By design our humanitarian couples are in countries that are economically challenged and where the Church is not well developed.  One of our couples, Elder and Sister Olson serving in Montenegro, are the only senior couple serving in the country.  Other than four young missionaries and one expat family employed by the U.S. embassy, you can count the number of members of the Church on your fingers.  Our hope was that this conference would renew the spirits of the missionaries.  Last Saturday morning when we got an email from Elder Olson telling us that he had been informed by his ticketing agent that their return tickets from Madrid had been canceled we were very concerned.  They were away from home (Podgorica) working with their mission president and did not have the time or “minutes” on their phone to make the needed flight changes.  Eileen spent much of the day trying to make alternative flight plans for them.  Only late in the afternoon did an employee from the airline tell her that they were anticipating a strike and that the entire flight had been cancelled.  That only further caused us concern as we had two other couples on that same return flight through Rome. While the other two couples were able to make other flight plans, despite Eileen’s best efforts, we were not able to work things out so the Olsons could attend.  Eileen took it quite hard.  She had worked so hard that day trying to make alternative arrangements and worked for months on the conference; her disappointment at not being able to have all the couples there was great. Looking back on the situation now and comparing it to our life and children, I think how disappointed I will be in the next life if my family can not all be together.

I was very pleased to see how well the couples not just interacted but seemed to bond together at the conference.  To listen to them at dinner you would think they had known each other for years.  Other than in our monthly video conference calls the coupes had never met before.  Eileen and I joked that if we shut our eyes and just listened to the voices we could easily identify who was who, but for the other couples this was their first opportunity to meet and talk with their counterparts in neighboring countries.  One sister commented about how refreshing it was to talk to someone in a similar situation and compare experiences.  She said it was comforting to know that her feelings were validated by others dealing with similar challenges.  The missionaries also exchanged ideas and learned from one another.  In business we referred to this as sharing “best practices.”  I came away from the conference thinking that the coupes now not only had Eileen and I to call when they have issues but that they could and would call each other.  All-of-a-sudden, the phone number and email address list that Eileen updates and distributes to all the couples every few months is in demand.

During a missionary couple’s first week at the MTC they go through basic training known as “Preach My Gospel.”  A significant portion of this focuses on teaching investigators or inactive members aspects of the gospel.  You teach with your companion, and for many couples that is a challenge.  Our first experience five years ago was enlightening.  Eileen and I had functioned for years together with a divide and conquer game-plan; be it with caring for the children, our respective professions, home or church duties.  When it came time to role play teaching the missionary lessons - let’s just say we had different teaching styles.  While I think I was better at working with her during our second time in the MTC it was more just a matter of one of us giving in as opposed to our working well together. When asked the first day of our third time through the MTC, what did I wanted to get out of the week, I said to get along well with my wife!  

On our second day of the training in Madrid, Eileen and I taught the group on what makes a good humanitarian project.  For an hour-and-half we went through a dozen old projects, case-study type teaching style, with the couples.  Each of the old projects had been selected by us to highlight certain points.  We alternated leading every-other case and adding comments when appropriate on the other’s projects.  I actually think we worked together well, neither one leading with both supporting the other.  Perhaps after five years of working/serving together I have learned something about working with my eternal companion, something more important than just expertise in our particular missionary calling.  I know I am a slow learner but I want to learn. I believe that with lots of time and submitting my will to God’s will for me, there is hope.

I (Eileen) would like to add my perspective on some of the events of this week. It seemed like Russell and I really worked as a team to make this conference a success. There were definitely some stressful moments and I appreciated his love and support when those times came.  It was wonderful to be able to meet couples whom we have previously only talked with on the phone. We also were able to be reunited with some of the couples we have trained upon their arrival in the mission field.  It was so heartwarming to see the couple's interact with each other and make new friendships. It reminded me of the Book of Mormon story in Alma17:2 where Alma was reunited with his brethren after many years of serving as missionaries. The scripture states that "Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren".  It was such a blessing to have this privilege of being together.

When Sister Sabin spoke to us she related a story about Elizabeth McCune.  In 1868, Brigham Young closed a conference in Nephi, Utah by reading the names of a number of men, who were to take their families and relocate to settlements some three hundred miles south along the Muddy River.  When Elizabeth heard her father's name she began to weep.  Her friend said, "Why are you crying? My father has been called too, but you see that I am not crying because I know he won't go." Elizabeth looked directly at her friend and said, "That is just the difference.  I know that my father will go and that nothing will stop him."  As Sister Sabin was relating this story I thought of our couple missionaries.  Each one had heeded the call of a prophet to serve where they were called.  Each left the comforts of home and family to labor in locations and circumstances that are far less than ideal. Elder Sabin used the hymn "Let Us All Press On" as the basis for his remarks. As I thought about his comments and the words of the hymn, "Fear not, . . . Courage, for the Lord is on our side" and "the Lord alone we will obey," I realized I need to both be more obedient to God's direction and then have faith that all things will work out.  All too often I find myself fearing about or worrying over the everyday challenges of life when I should be more thankful to God for my many blessings and trusting in Him.  I do love my Lord and am grateful for His tender mercies in my life.

Humanitarian Couples, Gilles Francois and the Sabins at Madrid Temple

We saw this building as we were driving from one location to another-very different from the current policy of the U.S.

Sister Sabin speaking

Elder Sabin speaking

Humanitarian couples during presentation

Eileen and Russell in front of Madrid temple

Madrid temple

Some of the couples ready for dinner

Senior sisters name tags representing the Europe Area

LIFE IS FRAGILE

This morning I (Russell) opened the bathroom window a few inches while getting ready for church.  Around 9 AM I heard the bells from a couple church buildings nearby.  I recalled how much I had loved to hear them each Sunday morning when we first got here.  They are still as wonderful as they were last spring but perhaps I have grown accustomed to them and almost take them for granted.

Last night we had dinner with another senior missionary couple, Tom and Ruth Rich.  Elder Rich is serving as the Europe Area Auditor.  Tom and I were both partners with Deloitte in Salt Lake City, so we have known the Richs for a long time.  Early in January Elder Rich was diagnosed with bacterial meningitis and was hospitalized for two weeks.  For a time his outcome was uncertain.  About one in six of those who have bacterial meningitis do not survive.  Due to the Lord’s help, many prayers on his behalf and good care from the German health system he is now on his way to a full recovery. 

During January a senior missionary serving within the Europe Area died suddenly of an aneurysm.  Elder Rich had been with this Elder who passed away just recently training him on audit procedures.  Tom commented to me last night how odd it feels knowing that it could have just as easily been him who had passed away last month.  Why one missionary recovered and another passed away leads one to contemplate the fragility of life.

As I thought about Elder Rich and this other missionary who passed away, it reminded me of when Eileen was pregnant with Jessica.  Early in the pregnancy she developed a large blood clot in her iliac vein.  Upon it’s detection she was immediately hospitalized.  Eileen’s situation was serious enough that her doctor felt he had to at least pose the possibility of terminating the pregnancy in order to help her chances of survival.  Around this same time we had a neighbor who had returned from an athletic activity late at night, sat down to watch television and choked to death on snack foods.  I remember Eileen expressing thoughts similar to Tom’s, of how easily it could have been her that passed away rather than this healthy young father.

I think all too often I treat lightly close relationships and blessings which I have grown accustomed to.  Just like the wonderful sound of the church bells this morning, I don’t appreciate enough my wife and missionary companion, and other family members.  I have been very blessed by God with a loving family and many other blessings, both temporal and spiritual, that I need guard against taking for granted and assuming they will always be with me.

   

CONSECRATION

Last Monday we listened to Elder Paul Johnson (Europe Area Presidency, 1^st Councilor) speak to the Church employees and senior missionaries in Frankfurt.  His talk was broadcast to all the employees in the Europe Area and Eileen arranged for the Humanitarian missionary couples in their various countries to be able to listen to it also.

Elder Johnson thanked the employees for their efforts in filling roles that furthered 
the building up of God’s kingdom but that were perhaps not those that got much attention.  He also thanked the senior missionaries in the Area office for filling roles that otherwise the Church would have to hire additional employees to fill.  He pointed out that while we may view our jobs as clerical or temporal, that to the Lord 
all things are spiritual.

Elder Johnson then related the story of one of his ancestors.  This ancestor was a "carpenter who was with Joseph Smith during the early days of the Church.  He related how his ancestor wanted to serve a mission preaching the gospel but that was asked by the prophet to instead build a storehouse.  His ancestor was faithful in obeying the will of his priesthood leaders throughout his life, utilizing his carpenter skills in what many would consider temporal support roles. 

As I (Russell) was listening to Elder Johnson, I was torn between not wanting to hear again how I should be happy serving as an accounting clerk, and thinking, “you should really be listening to this – it applies directly to you!” 

On this mission and our last mission the majority of what I have been doing has been clerical in nature and not what I had envisioned when I retired to serve a mission.  Even in Indonesia where we were humanitarian missionaries, on one instance after spending two weeks working with us on the visit of the Mercy Ship to Manado, Indonesia, one of my fellow senior missionaries told me, Elder Healy, you don’t have a normal missionary role; what you have is a job - you’re just not getting paid for it.

Up until this last week as I pondered Elder Johnson’s words of how I should be willing to use my talents to serve the Lord in whatever way the Lord directs, my thought has been that this would be the last mission I would serve in a clerical/temporal type role.  It is a lot easier and enjoyable to hear your priesthood leaders say over the pulpit what you want to hear rather than what God wants you to learn.

Saying you will do, say and be what God wants you to do, say and be is easier said than done, especially once you learn what roles God wants you to labor in.

With all of our travel plans it has been a little challenging for me (Eileen) to schedule visiting teaching and to be visit taught.  This past week I made arrangements with my visiting teachers to come during the noon hour. I had an appointment right up until the time we were scheduled to begin. I came home and found that Russell had created a lovely lunch for us (me and my visiting teachers) to enjoy.  I appreciate the many ways he offers his support to me.

Caprese salad made by Russell

Sister Rueckert and Sister Bateson-my visiting teachers

Friday and Saturday we went to the Freiberg temple with the David and Paula Thomas, another senior missionary couple.  We were planning on staying in temple housing but were notified at 11:30 a.m. on Friday that our reservation had fallen through. I checked online and found that most of the hotels in Freiberg were full. Elder Thomas was able to use his German language skills to contact a hotel directly and arrange rooms for us. We definitely have gained an appreciation for having a temple in close proximity to our home back in the U.S.  Right now we can go to one of three temples, all of which are a five to six hour travel time each way.

HELPING VS. ENABLING

One comment I (Russell) have heard often from humanitarian missionaries is how difficult it can seem at times to render service to, and in most cases fund the purchase of supplies for, needy recipients in a wise and appropriate way.  On first glace it seems rather simple: observe the situation; assess the need; formulate a solution; and execute a delivery plan.  However, the lesson we learn, some learn it more quickly than others, is that our solution to their problem will never be the best.  In many cases our solutions will not even work; and sometimes may even backfire with unintended consequences.  And in some cases what we consider to be a problem needing to be fixed may not even be perceived as a big concern of the intended beneficiaries.

The best projects are those in which the beneficiaries both identify the need and formulate a viable solution; and then lead the execution of the plan with our missionaries filling in with service and funds where needed after allowing the beneficiaries to do all they can on their own.  In this manner we not only help meet a need but also help teach the beneficiaries self-reliance and self-respect.

I believe this principle of how to best render service is applicable in almost all settings.  I wish I had learned this lesson before I started having children.  It would have made me a better parent.

Recently I have watched as others, here and back home, have rendered meaningful well-intended service only to have that service go unappreciated or worse by the recipients.  My heart goes out to those who have labored so hard to serve and do as the Savior directed to ”love thy neighbor.”