COUPLES'S CONFERENCE IN SPAIN

This last week has been an eventful one in which we have seen our efforts of several months work come to fruition.  On Wednesday and Thursday we hosted a conference for the Welfare/Humanitarian senior missionaries of the Europe Area.  We had 14 couples join us in Spain for training and attending the Madrid temple.  We were also privileged to have Elder Gary B. Sabin (second counselor in the Area Presidency) and his wife instruct us and attend the temple with us.  The idea for this conference originated with Eileen last fall.  I didn't think it would ever get approved, and was proven to be wrong for a second time during the month of November (last year) about something that I said would never come to pass.  As I look back on the conference several things stand out to me.  I will relate just a few.

Last fall during the first Area Welfare meeting we attended, Elder Sabin asked us “what keeps you up at night.”  We both replied with the same answer.  It was our mutual concern over the isolation that most of our couples have to deal with in their assignments.  By design our humanitarian couples are in countries that are economically challenged and where the Church is not well developed.  One of our couples, Elder and Sister Olson serving in Montenegro, are the only senior couple serving in the country.  Other than four young missionaries and one expat family employed by the U.S. embassy, you can count the number of members of the Church on your fingers.  Our hope was that this conference would renew the spirits of the missionaries.  Last Saturday morning when we got an email from Elder Olson telling us that he had been informed by his ticketing agent that their return tickets from Madrid had been canceled we were very concerned.  They were away from home (Podgorica) working with their mission president and did not have the time or “minutes” on their phone to make the needed flight changes.  Eileen spent much of the day trying to make alternative flight plans for them.  Only late in the afternoon did an employee from the airline tell her that they were anticipating a strike and that the entire flight had been cancelled.  That only further caused us concern as we had two other couples on that same return flight through Rome. While the other two couples were able to make other flight plans, despite Eileen’s best efforts, we were not able to work things out so the Olsons could attend.  Eileen took it quite hard.  She had worked so hard that day trying to make alternative arrangements and worked for months on the conference; her disappointment at not being able to have all the couples there was great. Looking back on the situation now and comparing it to our life and children, I think how disappointed I will be in the next life if my family can not all be together.

I was very pleased to see how well the couples not just interacted but seemed to bond together at the conference.  To listen to them at dinner you would think they had known each other for years.  Other than in our monthly video conference calls the coupes had never met before.  Eileen and I joked that if we shut our eyes and just listened to the voices we could easily identify who was who, but for the other couples this was their first opportunity to meet and talk with their counterparts in neighboring countries.  One sister commented about how refreshing it was to talk to someone in a similar situation and compare experiences.  She said it was comforting to know that her feelings were validated by others dealing with similar challenges.  The missionaries also exchanged ideas and learned from one another.  In business we referred to this as sharing “best practices.”  I came away from the conference thinking that the coupes now not only had Eileen and I to call when they have issues but that they could and would call each other.  All-of-a-sudden, the phone number and email address list that Eileen updates and distributes to all the couples every few months is in demand.

During a missionary couple’s first week at the MTC they go through basic training known as “Preach My Gospel.”  A significant portion of this focuses on teaching investigators or inactive members aspects of the gospel.  You teach with your companion, and for many couples that is a challenge.  Our first experience five years ago was enlightening.  Eileen and I had functioned for years together with a divide and conquer game-plan; be it with caring for the children, our respective professions, home or church duties.  When it came time to role play teaching the missionary lessons - let’s just say we had different teaching styles.  While I think I was better at working with her during our second time in the MTC it was more just a matter of one of us giving in as opposed to our working well together. When asked the first day of our third time through the MTC, what did I wanted to get out of the week, I said to get along well with my wife!  

On our second day of the training in Madrid, Eileen and I taught the group on what makes a good humanitarian project.  For an hour-and-half we went through a dozen old projects, case-study type teaching style, with the couples.  Each of the old projects had been selected by us to highlight certain points.  We alternated leading every-other case and adding comments when appropriate on the other’s projects.  I actually think we worked together well, neither one leading with both supporting the other.  Perhaps after five years of working/serving together I have learned something about working with my eternal companion, something more important than just expertise in our particular missionary calling.  I know I am a slow learner but I want to learn. I believe that with lots of time and submitting my will to God’s will for me, there is hope.

I (Eileen) would like to add my perspective on some of the events of this week. It seemed like Russell and I really worked as a team to make this conference a success. There were definitely some stressful moments and I appreciated his love and support when those times came.  It was wonderful to be able to meet couples whom we have previously only talked with on the phone. We also were able to be reunited with some of the couples we have trained upon their arrival in the mission field.  It was so heartwarming to see the couple's interact with each other and make new friendships. It reminded me of the Book of Mormon story in Alma17:2 where Alma was reunited with his brethren after many years of serving as missionaries. The scripture states that "Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren".  It was such a blessing to have this privilege of being together.

When Sister Sabin spoke to us she related a story about Elizabeth McCune.  In 1868, Brigham Young closed a conference in Nephi, Utah by reading the names of a number of men, who were to take their families and relocate to settlements some three hundred miles south along the Muddy River.  When Elizabeth heard her father's name she began to weep.  Her friend said, "Why are you crying? My father has been called too, but you see that I am not crying because I know he won't go." Elizabeth looked directly at her friend and said, "That is just the difference.  I know that my father will go and that nothing will stop him."  As Sister Sabin was relating this story I thought of our couple missionaries.  Each one had heeded the call of a prophet to serve where they were called.  Each left the comforts of home and family to labor in locations and circumstances that are far less than ideal. Elder Sabin used the hymn "Let Us All Press On" as the basis for his remarks. As I thought about his comments and the words of the hymn, "Fear not, . . . Courage, for the Lord is on our side" and "the Lord alone we will obey," I realized I need to both be more obedient to God's direction and then have faith that all things will work out.  All too often I find myself fearing about or worrying over the everyday challenges of life when I should be more thankful to God for my many blessings and trusting in Him.  I do love my Lord and am grateful for His tender mercies in my life.

Humanitarian Couples, Gilles Francois and the Sabins at Madrid Temple

We saw this building as we were driving from one location to another-very different from the current policy of the U.S.

Sister Sabin speaking

Elder Sabin speaking

Humanitarian couples during presentation

Eileen and Russell in front of Madrid temple

Madrid temple

Some of the couples ready for dinner

Senior sisters name tags representing the Europe Area